I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
