Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There's always time for handjobs
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
