belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
