Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize