i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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