whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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