so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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