He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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