so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Me too!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
