East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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