Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
