If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
