Kiss
Puke
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
