This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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