Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
