I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
