I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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