it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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