Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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