I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
