I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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