I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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