I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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