worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
