he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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