I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
