life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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