haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
