You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
