Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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