I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize