And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
