someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
