So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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