I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
