I just pynch a tree in the face
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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