Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she pinky promised me she was 18
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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