Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you win again, gameday.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
