Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors

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(301): View more from Maryland

White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.

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(708): View more from Illinois

bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth

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(510): View more from California

Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.

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