sorry about calling you the devil all night.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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