i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
