I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
