Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
