Midget sex pt 2 tonight
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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