I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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