woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
