Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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