I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
