her vagine was all disorganized.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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