Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize