I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
