I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
