I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my vag is so smooth its legendary
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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