Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
