...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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