Quick, to the slutcave!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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