Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
