Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I looked at my own cervix.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
