Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
