i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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