I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
