He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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