Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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