please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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