I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
