I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
