ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
